Dancing's Not About Fun No More

Okay, so I'm here to rant about the likeliest of all topics: the state of dancing these days.

It's just an issue I've been having with dancing in clubs/bars. So people are there to have fun with their friends. Dancing acts as the conduit through which they can do this. Maybe they'll get a little sloppy. Maybe they'll get a little lucky. Maybe both. And this tends to be the prevailing mentality for a lot of people.

Putting yourself out there for that meat market isn't the easiest sell. It hurts to get turned down. It hurts even more if your target runs the opposite direction. But I think that there is a pattern I'm seeing for rejection of an invitation to dance.

Sample Progression of Events for Rejection:

1. Guy/Girl notices partner from across dance floor


2. Guy/Girl sidles over to scope the scene


3. Guy/Girl initiates first eye or vocal contact with other


4. Guy/Girl makes motion to dance


5. Moment of panic by the pursued to rid themselves of pursuer


6. Guy/Girl rejects partner soundly

As we can see, things start to break down rather quickly around number 4. Talking with various persons, I can hypothesize only one reason for this breakdown. Aside from that fist-sized tumour on your neck, most people just aren't comfortable with the message they would give you due to the sexual nature of grinding. Now the rejection cuts deeper, because they are not only turning you down as a dance partner, but also a sexual partner. Our mode of dance is keeping us from making inroads with people.

Now don't get me wrong, I love dry humping some girl I don't know, or know, as much as anyone else. But it strikes me that this whole style of grinding is really holding back any good, wholesome enjoyment. As far as physical expression goes, dancing is the pinnacle. So what are we expressing when we decide to perform by sweating up and down each other?

I'm not saying there aren't good dancers anymore, and I'm not saying that it's unheard of for people to just dance around with each other either. What I am saying is that nowadays, to clubbers and dancers, grinding is the norm and not the exception. But c'mon, unless you're letting that special someone know exactly how you're feeling that night, the 'grinder' as a species is directed by its dancing.

Of course, pelvic thrusts could mean anything. I know when I get a girl straddling my leg. I'm thinking, "Hey, wanna talk?" Despite the sarcasm, I am one of the worst hypocrites. I've grinded (ground?) a decent number of girls in my day and don't plan on stopping any time soon. It has its place in dancing, just not as the primary dance form.

If dancing is an expression, an art form, then I'm a pretty terrible artist. But let me paint you this picture: Say at step #4, when Guy/Girl approaches partner and asks say, to swing dance, how more likely would it be for you to accept the proposal? A bit more? How about a conga line? While the goal for some people may be the immediate sexual gratification which is easier facilitated by grinding (especially while drunk), other potential meetings and friendships are thwarted by the sexually threatening nature of the dance.

I know this may do little to change the dancing scene. But the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I can only hope that one day, I will approach a girl at a club, dance with her, thank her for the privilege, and leave having met someone new. Maybe I had a girlfriend at the time. No sexual implication, just friendship and enjoyment. And this can only be accomplished by shifting to dance forms that emphasize our enthusiasm, enjoyment and skill rather than our libidos.